All these toons talking about Labor Day … What do they know about labor? All they want to do is play games and have fun running around the streets of Toontown while WE, the COGS, try to keep our bosses happy. You know what the worst part is? Those pesky toons keep running into us on purpose so they can throw pies and drop things on us just so they can dance around and laugh. Don’t they know life is more than just fun and games?

When one of our acquaintances gets destroyed, we make another. That’s why we have to be in the streets in the first place. When one of us gets short circuited by a water gun or squished with a piano, who cleans up the mess? Not the toons! They just leave our gears, metal rods, and other pieces lying around as though none of the other cogs would care. We have to go out there and spend time hunting for enough parts to make another cog.

WORK WORK WORK! It’s all we know. The sellbots have to sell things, cashbots have to collect the money from the sellbots, then the lawbots have to make sure we keep everything according to the cog laws, and then, worst of all, the CEO has to be happy with what we’ve done or else… we get demoted!

Even though we’re being worked till our parts rust, progress is being made. A vast majority of our businesses and field offices are taking over the streets. If we could experience humor, we would laugh at the amount of resistance you toons have put up. So while YOU play around with your seltzer and slapsticks, us cogs have been taking over Toontown. The Chairman even told us the first branch to conquer your playground   will get to decide the name of the new and improved Cog HQ!

We can’t forget to mention the Pressbots and their tremendous amount of progress. Pressbot HQ has been delivering consistent updates for our business, while also revealing vital information about you toons. Guess in the end you’re just animals after all. While you were raiding our Corporate Bosses, the Pressbots were streaming it live. We saw everything. Including those 2 Black Cats leading the assault. Originally, we were gonna retaliate with a Mega Invasion of Skelecogs. However, we’re gonna use this as an opportunity to learn from our unfortunate blunder.

Even though you toons are lazy and constantly party we must give props to your “staff team”. From our investigations, they seem like the only ones who actually work like us Cogs. Making sure you toons are having fun, creating ways to keep you occupied, answering questions, and making sure you’re staying toony. Whenever we commence our next invasion we’ll be sure to snag a few of them and “properly hire” them to C.O.G.S INC. So if I were you I would appreciate them in the short amount of time you have left to have them!

Until next time,

-The Cogs

Posted on Sept. 7, 2020, 5:12 p.m. by The Cogs